i'm awake from 12, maybe 3ish in the afternoon to 4 in the morning; from there is nothing but a nightmare.

i go to sleep; and then im there again. reliving the same evident reality that doesn't exist. my fears are lived out; and i wake up exhausted; and crawl my way back to sleep. continuously. then during the day, my brain feels clouded and over worked by the lack of sleep.

i don't dream when i smoke, or if i use meds. but downers make me feel unmotivated in the morning; less i down a gallon of coffee.

this series of events makes me feel like telling a story. i don't feel as if i have the motivation to finish it, but not really doing anything bums me out. anything to keep me from going to sleep early.